some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize