butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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