Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
