You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
