He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
