Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
