I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
