i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
