dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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