It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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