fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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