yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
