i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
