Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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