she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
