she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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