i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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