I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
