...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Did I show you my penis last night?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
