In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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