$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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