I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I can text with my tongue
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
