Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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