it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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