walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
