Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
