Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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