it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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