so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
