There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
