There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
