The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
