what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
