It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
