do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
