Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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