I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I would ride that face into the sunset
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
