idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
