You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
