I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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