Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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