i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
