sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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