i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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