Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
