She said her name was "party"
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
