SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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