Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
