im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
