I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He kissed a someone with a penis
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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