also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
