Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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