So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
