do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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