it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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