MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize