i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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