Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
...so i touched it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
